it's been a while but I needed to write and I know no one reads this so I needed to write something. Today has been 3 weeks since my mother died and less than a week since her birthday. Sometimes I see myself in the mirror and see no light in my eyes. 54 is too young to go; I guess life isn't fair sometimes. Sometimes the finality hits me, sometimes I'm angry and sometimes I just have to make myself go to sleep because I can't cope. I miss her and I can't do anything about it. I don't regret seeing her, but seeing her lifeless body in the funeral home is forever burned in my memory and it haunts me. Please say it gets better.